Aubrey Plaza’s 2005 Salty Sea Hags Blog is Enlightening and Scary – UPROXX

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Before she became synonymous with sarcastic masturbators, Parks and recreation The Aubrey Plaza star was, well, she was still the same adorable, twisted, impossible to understand Aubrey Plaza, or as she is known on Twitter, @evilhag. Where does this name come from ? According to an interview she recently did with Rolling stone:

I made a video, which is still on YouTube, called teenage witch, and that’s where it started. It’s a parody of Teen wolf, but this is a high school girl who turns into a witch. When I was in college, I had a blog called “Salty Sea Hag,” where I did political humor from the perspective of a sea witch living on the bottom of the ocean. My witch thing goes back a long way. (Going through)

While you write teen witch too in your head, here is the original teenage witch trailer.

But more importantly: “Salty Sea Hag.” An extract:

Two days ago I put a spell on a sunken canoe and turned it into my father’s ghost.

BODIES, DEVILS AND EVENINGS BURN IN HELL,
Aubrey

And that:

Today I was taken to a closed conference room and told “NBC found my blog.” While not making any mention that my blog is written from the perspective of a witch living on the bottom of the ocean … they informed me that the dog photos I posted were the property of NBC and were to be removed immediately. It happened a bit like that …

***
Them: Uh… yeah those dog photos? We will have to get rid of it …

Me: Ah? Those from my blog? My blog Salty Sea Hag?

Them:… yeah… the… salty… witch… whatever, shoot those dogs.

Me: Good God! Damn it !!

***

I then stomped on my cabin and slammed Papa Roach’s “Last Resort”… then judged more dogs. ding DING ding.

And that:

I sat there all night
And you did not come.
I held your gift so tight
that I started to bleed on it.

Josh, you were to me
my only and guest son.
How could you run away
on baby-jesus birthday?

do not you know
that I bought you an iPod Nano?
And some mints …
and Adobe Photoshop Pro?

I will kill you
to trap snakes in a net
and sew you inside
their body.

I think I like Plaza even more now.

(By) (By)


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